ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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