my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
