fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
