Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
