he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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