I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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