We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
