do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we should paint friendship bongs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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