Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
