He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
