Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think pants incapable of making pants work
True strength comes from lack of pants
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
