home. puking in laundry basket.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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