They should really pass out barf bags in church
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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