Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
