see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
