those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he shaved USA in his pubs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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