my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
