when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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