I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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