If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
