I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
