Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
