i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
