Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
