I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
