I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
