Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
