Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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