I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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