thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
