1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
