I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize