What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize