If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
