Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
