So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
