I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
