I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
