Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
