This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
These tits shall not be calmed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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