Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
