gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
