That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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