i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
