awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
