I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
