I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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