Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
