Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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