wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
