wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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