But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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