Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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