C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
