I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
