I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
