talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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