Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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