I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
