I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
