drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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