let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
