i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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