He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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