he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
